apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
