Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
