Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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