I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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