its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize