Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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