my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
