so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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