Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
