i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
wow bdsm is so cute
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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