I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
