so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
