dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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