...so i touched it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
