I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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