Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
