I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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