To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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