This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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