The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
