Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
