his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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