I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
