no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
