508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize