I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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