she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
