Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
