You're so nebulous sometimes
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
