38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
