He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
