I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
