we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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