i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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