i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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