What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
