theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
