I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
