I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
