Got a toothbrush?
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
