1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
