Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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