My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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