The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
