brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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