My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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