just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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