I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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