Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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