it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
