That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
