so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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