BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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