it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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