On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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