its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You're earring is so big in my mouth
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
