You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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