you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
But break dance skills will only take you so far
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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