..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
