so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
