Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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