maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
