toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My first STD was from a foam party
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize