I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
