I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
