and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You left your phone here
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