I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
