she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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