If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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