i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
