This girl is more easily done than said...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
