so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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