what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize