that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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